With Grateful Hearts

Tyson and I can't even express how much we appreciate all of the love and support pouring out from so many friends and family during the last month. This whole experience with Carter has been such a struggle, and the sweet words of love and support coming from so many of you have helped carry us through. We know that Carter won't be in the hospital permanently and that it's only a matter of time before he can join us at home. But in the meantime, it's still really hard for us and we wouldn't be able to do this without all of you and your kind words. I'm amazed at how much a simple message has been able to pick us up just a little bit more and carry us a little farther.

I also want to say thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable and share my honest feelings with you. My mind has weighed heavy with many thoughts about the last month and I am grateful that I could freely get those thoughts out and not be criticized for doing so. These days, there are so many people who seem to have an opinion about everything, including sharing emotions with the world. Some people view it as complaining or being unappreciative. I know there are so many of you who I love and adore who have had to overcome trials and struggles far worse than what I'm going through, including the loss of a child. I've even heard from some of these people over the last month. I am so grateful to those of you who I speak of for being so supportive of me even though this situation could be far worse for us like it was for you at one time. Thank you for giving so much of yourself so I can feel better about my own situation. What an amazing selfless act.

Carter is a month old today. He has officially spent his first month of life in the hospital and I ache inside thinking about it. His days of being a newborn are slowly slipping away from me and it hurts my heart to think that I might not be able to have those tender newborn moments in my home for very long. However, I can't express how grateful I am that our little Carter is healthy and doing well. Even though I feel like I've missed out on a lot of things, I'm excited to get him home and start on this adventure together as a family. Last night Carter was weighed and he is just barely under 6lb 2oz-Brycen's birth weight. He has already gained almost two pounds since birth and we're so proud of him for working up so much strength to get so big. Because he's gaining weight so well, that's just one less hurdle to jump over before he can go home. What a blessing! At this point he is still struggling with keeping his stats up, refluxing, and being able to eat without getting tired. But we're getting there. He's slowly but surely getting there.

Carter has his dad's dimples and my nose. Sure do love my boy. I caught the tail end of a grin and was able to capture those sweet dimples. As far as that hair color goes, the light in the room made it look a little red for this picture. It's actually a blondish brownish color, but depending on the light it sometimes looks a little red. His hair is so soft. I love holding him close and brushing my cheek against it.

Thank you again for all of your thoughtfulness and prayers. We feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people who care about us and have helped us get through this time. Your prayers are working because Carter gets better and better all the time. We love you all so much!