All By Myself

My mom and Amber just left my apartment after a weekend party full of fun and a lot of laughs. And yes, there are tears running down my face right now. I find myself once again by myself and it is hard. Tyson is at work and Brycen went down for a nap so I'm alone with my thoughts. We had such a blast this weekend with Mom and Amber. Not a single picture was taken. But each moment with them was filled with so much fun and more memories were made. We went shopping, went out to fun places to eat, watched movies, played the Wii, and so much more.

These days some of my toughest moments are when either family leaves our apartment or when we leave Idaho. I cry every time no matter where we're at. Sometimes I'm able to hold in the tears until our front door is closed or until we're in the car pulling out of the driveway of one of our parents' houses. Today Amber and Mom left at a little after 1:00, but my tears started at around 12:30. I always dread the day when people have to leave after such an awesome time together. These times together are always cherished and filled with such wonderful memories.

I know what you're thinking right now and you're right. We do only live 2 1/2 hours away from our families. It could be so much worse, as it is with so many of you and your families. This move has just been a lot harder on me than I thought it would be and it's easy to feel lonely. I feel incredibly blessed that our families live so close to us. For what Tyson is doing for his job, we got the best deal possible. I feel like the Lord was watching out for us in this way. I feel like He understands our need to be close to family and how important it was for Tyson to take this awesome job. It's a pretty great situation and I feel very blessed that we were able to take this opportunity.

Tyson and I are both really close with our families. My parents and siblings are my best friends, and the recent death of a friend of my family's has made Tyson and I appreciate our families even more. It also puts in perspective how true it is that no matter how hard I think my own life is, someone else's life is much harder. Life is precious and we never know when someone we love is going to leave it. I'm so grateful for our families and for that close relationship we have with them.

Tyson and I are speaking in our ward this Sunday. The topic we were given is "Increasing Our Faith". Funny that this is the topic. This is something I always hope will come up in sacrament meeting and someone will get up there and teach me. But it appears that I will be teaching myself. And there is no better or harder topic for me to talk about in front of all of those people. I need to learn how to increase my faith so badly. I just hope I can get my words across without crying the entire time. I have faith that I can. :)

It is moments like these, these moments where I have so many thoughts and emotions running through me, that I need to rely on the Lord. He has a plan for all of us and I'm grateful for that. I find peace and comfort in knowing that He is watching out for my little family and I and He knows our needs. We love our families so very much and I don't ever want to take them for granted.

In reality, I'm not really "all by myself." I am grateful for the power of prayer and the blessings it brings to my life. I know the Lord hears and answers each one of my prayers. Life is good. And as the saying goes, "If life gets too hard to stand, kneel."