Parenting is a Scary Thing

Here's a warning: I'm writing this with tears in my eyes so this is literally a sob story. It's something that all parents go through and I'm experiencing it for the first time. I don't blame you if you don't continue reading or if you cut out early! I'm just being a baby.

Here's our situation. We haven't physically felt 100% since before Christmas Eve. Since that night we haven't gotten much sleep. Last week I had a MAJOR sinus infection (that I vented about kind of like I'm doing here), and this week our family was cursed with the stomach flu. Tyson and I woke up at about 3am Monday morning to both of us feeling nauseated. At this time I can say that I'm grateful for two bathrooms. And especially for two bathrooms that aren't on opposite ends of the house from our bedroom. That night was a nightmare. Brycen seemed like he wasn't feeling too good either so this was how things went: One of us would go puke in our assigned bathrooms, then come out and take care of screaming Brycen. The other person was super weak and couldn't move until they had to throw up. Which was when they'd also go take care of the baby. And so on and so forth. It was a well-oiled machine that we wish was not a machine at all.

Tyson took the next day off and we were exhausted. I called my mom that morning and she willingly called in at work to come take Brycen off our hands for the day. After being up sick in the morning, Tyson went down for a nap and was able to sleep till noon. I had a three-hour period in the afternoon where thankfully nobody called or came over, so I was able to take a nap. The rest of my day was spent in the bathroom. It was 100% miserable. By the afternoon Tyson was feeling a lot better, so he ran back to work for the rest of the day. He later picked Brycen up from my mom's. Tyson's mom came by with soup and crackers for us right after he got home with Brycen. We have the best moms in the world. They gave us the two main things we needed that day: a babysitter and some food that wouldn't kill us. Brycen had come home and his little body decided to have diarrhea. Wonderful. Let's just say that all our bedding got washed before bed.

I decided to sleep on the couch last night just in case I had to get up and out of bed constantly. Right before I went to sleep I made the decision to take some pepto bismol. I have always hated pepto and, as always, I struggled getting the 2 tbsp dose down my throat without gagging on the texture. Ironically, I started feeling better not too much later. I'm giving the credit to the pepto. We are now friends. Maybe even besties. I felt really weak so ended up staying up a lot of the night sipping on powerade and munching on saltines. Brycen got up multiple times and we made bottle after bottle. He also had a fever, which had started Sunday but was coming back more often. Earlier in the evening we gave him some gerber apple juice that Tyson drove to Walgreens for. Our goal was to try and keep the fluids in Brycen. We were so worried about him becoming dehydrated. Long night.

Tyson brought Brycen out at about 5am because he acted like he wanted to play. So he sat on the floor and played with toys and watched "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" till 6:30. Tired was I. I woke up to Tyson getting ready for work. I felt loads better after a night of regaining my strength back. Brycen had a fever and was fussy. He stayed fussy throughout the day, which most of you know is not like him at all. Tyson came home at about 12:30 and was feeling very weak. He hadn't quite gotten over all the sickness when he decided to head back to work. We enjoyed some Progresso soup and crackers for lunch. It was amazing. Brycen continued to have a fever today and be very fussy. It was difficult to get things done or try to take a nap.

Tonight is what has made me crazy emotional. After these days of being sick and worrying about Brycen the worrying has gotten completely worse because of his fever. It has gotten higher and higher, and he was just burning up tonight. He wasn't acting like himself at all and it really scares me. We've been told that if our baby has a fever for 3-4 days we need to bring him in. As of today we were at 3 days of having a fever. Tomorrow morning we have an appointment with our pediatrician that ironically have had scheduled for well over a month. I'm grateful that if Brycen was going to get sick he got sick this week. Just in case there really is something wrong we already have the appointment. Brycen napped almost all day and even went to sleep tonight. But not without crying and acting obviously sick. It is awful to watch your baby going through something like this and not have any control. All I've wanted to do is snuggle him, kiss him, and tell him everything is going to be ok. I called a friend in the neighborhood who is a nurse at one of the hospitals here. She gave us a few helpful tips and we continued on with our night. Brycen has been sick before, but this is the worst by far.

Brycen is asleep on our bed with Tyson. I decided to take the couch again tonight and have the baby monitor out as well for when he wakes up. I'm so worried about him right now. I only hope he gets feeling better by morning. If not, I hope there is something the doctor can do for him tomorrow. It is a horrible feeling not being able to help your child. Especially when they are only nine months old. Today, actually. Nine months old today. I never imagined that I could love someone like I love Brycen. I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to him. I know I'm making sickness into something super dramatic. But as a first-time experience for Tyson and I, we've been a little freaked out. I worry about Brycen all the time, and this has just about thrown me over the edge. I just hope and pray our little guy can get over this soon and be our happy little baby again.